


It's Not What You Think

by AllDaveKat, br0jangles



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Fireman Karkat, Gender Dysphoria, Grindr AU, Idiots, Illustrations, M/M, Mutual Pining, Roleplay Logs, Self Discovery and Acceptance, Self-Doubt, Sexting, Trans Dave Strider, coming out story, like possibly a pretty triggering amount of gender dysphoria if youre sensitive so be careful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24287377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllDaveKat/pseuds/AllDaveKat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/br0jangles/pseuds/br0jangles
Summary: It's not supposed to be that serious....but fuck, it's kind of serious, isn't it?He kinda actually really fucking likes this guy.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 26
Kudos: 108





	It's Not What You Think

His name is Dave Strider. It is. He’s decided so, officially, that that’s definitely what his name is. There are no other names that belong to him, because his name is Dave, and that’s that.

Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave.

He has totally one hundred percent made up his mind about this fact, and he’s definitely not going to change his mind or regret it or anything stupid like that.

Just like he won’t regret being a man.

It doesn’t matter that he’s twenty four, it’s not too late to come out. _It’s not._ It’s okay. He’s okay. Everything is going to be fine.

Ugh, god, what if it’s not fine???

He’s lived this long pretending not to question himself, who’s to say he couldn’t just… keep doing that? With his other name, and his other life. Other clothes and other hairstyles and other words that people use when they say hi to her-- _him._

Huh, okay, yeah, that still stings. Definitely a boy.

...he thinks.

But _why?_ It would be so much easier to just… not be a man. It’s hard and it’s scary and he wants to vomit just thinking about telling his sister about it. Part of him thinks that no one ever needs to know, it’s just for him, it’s personal, it’s _fine_ if everyone else thinks he’s a girl, it doesn’t matter what other people think, he can handle it.

He can handle it.

He… can’t handle it anymore. Fuck, his hands are shaking.

Why is he like this? Why does he _have to be_ like this?

It takes him a few days to talk to his sister. Maybe it takes him more than a few days, leave him alone, it’s fucking hard, okay? He doesn’t want it to seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, because it’s _not,_ but he just… He’s been holding it back for so long, it doesn’t feel real.

Nothing feels real.

The first thing she does is hug him and tell him she loves him.

He knew she would. Of _course_ she would. It’s Rose, when has she ever turned her back on him before?

But fuck if it doesn’t make him _cry._ Crying doesn’t even begin to describe the disgusting sobbing that happens. It all comes out, everything, every last drop of shame and self doubt and pressure and worry and… he feels the biggest weight lift off his shoulders, and for a moment, he’s…

He’s himself.

But when he’s done crying, the anxiety begins to creep up on him again. Telling Rose was one thing, but how is he supposed to change the rest of his life? It’s not going to be that easy.

He’s scared.

She tells him to take a deep breath. Relax. They can figure this out together. Because she _loves him_ and she’s there for him, and how did he get so lucky to have the best fucking sister in the world?

For a few weeks, nothing changes. He buys a binder, with Rose’s help, but he’s not brave enough to wear it out of the house. And that’s okay, she assures him, baby steps. There’s no wrong way to be Dave Strider.

Well, there are a few wrong ways. But it’s the sentiment that counts. He gets it, and he’s glad for her help.

She suggests that maybe if he’s not ready to bear his soul to the physical world just yet, maybe he should adjust his online presence a little bit. Make a new social media page, introduce himself freshly to new people with his new identity.

And that… that’s a great idea.

The first time he introduces himself as Dave Strider, 24, he/him, he cries again. His hands are shaking for a whole new reason, because he feels _good._ He had no idea he could feel like this. He had no idea how truly fucking awful he felt before this moment, and he realizes that he can never go back.

This is it. This is who he is.

_He knows who he is._

Another few weeks. The next thing to go is his Tinder profile. He doesn’t need that shit anymore. He doesn’t really think twice about it when he downloads a new app, makes a new profile. He’s got a few boyish selfies he’s managed to take, via clever angling and his thankfully already boyish haircut, the right light, a pair of sunglasses, and bam. He’s only got one angle, but it is what it is, he’s cute, he thinks, probably. 

...he’s cute, for a girl.

With a little editing, he sharpens up some of his rounder, feminine features, and it clenches in his gut in a way that makes him sick. 

Why doesn’t he look like that in real life? Is it even possible for him to look like that? He’s done quite a bit of research on surgery and hormones and watched countless videos and read countless blogs, and he’s seen some amazing transformations that made his chest tight and his eyes wet.

It feels impossible. There’s no way he could ever see the same results.

He drops his phone and forgets about the app for a few days. He’s too nauseous to look at. Maybe dating isn’t in the cards for him right now. Maybe it won’t ever be again. If he can’t even look at himself, what kind of gay man will want to look at him?

Karkat Vantas is lying in the bathtub, happily soaking his sore muscles. He just got done with a 24-hour shift at the fire station, and he’s relaxing with good-smelling bubbles, a raspberry White Claw, and The Princess Bride. He’s got the movie playing on his laptop at the side of the tub, and he’s half paying attention to it as he scrolls through Grindr. 

He replies to a few messages, but none of the guys he’s been talking to lately are really sparking anything for him. He considers deleting the app for the tenth time this week, even though he knows he’ll just redownload it again a day later. Ugh.

The problem is… well, he’s not sure what the problem is, actually. Just that for some reason or another, his romantic relationships have never really worked out. 

He’s been an active member of the gay dating community ever since he came out at age nineteen. He’s experienced a lot of dates, hookups, chats, sexts, etc., and it’s been fun for the most part, don’t get him wrong. But he’s a romantic at heart, and deep down he knows he’s really still looking for _the one._ Maybe that’s the problem--he puts too much pressure on romantic relationships as soon as they show any promise, so they end up dead in the water before they can go anywhere. 

Ugh, who even fucking knows? Maybe it’s something to do with his star sign (Cancer sun, Leo moon, Taurus rising). Maybe it’s a problem with his Grindr bio (“KARKAT, 26, FOREVER WISHING MY LIFE WAS A ROM-COM.”). Maybe the entire fucking universe is just conspiring against him to make sure he stays single and lonely forever.

He sighs, scrolling past profile after profile without much interest.

Then one picture catches his eye, a blonde guy wearing a pair of dark sunglasses. Karkat can tell he’s cute even with the shades covering most of his face. The guy’s bio says his name is Dave, he’s 24, and he likes mixing music and photography. Without thinking too hard about it, Karkat sends him a message. 

KARKAT: HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU. WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU MIX?

Not his best pick-up line ever, but at least he’s put a little thought into it. He hates getting a generic “hey” message from guys, so he tries to be a little more original and thoughtful in his own messages.

He sets his phone down on the rim of the tub, not particularly expecting a response back. It’d be nice to get one, obviously, but by now he’s used to having more than half his messages ignored. He doesn’t take it too personally, it’s just how dating apps seem to work. He sips on his White Claw and loses himself in the romance of Westley and Buttercup, mouthing the words to the movie as it plays.

Dave ignores his phone for several days. He doesn’t check any of his social medias, least of all that stupid hook up app be downloaded. He doesn’t know what he was _thinking_ doing that; hook ups were always uncomfortable _enough_ when he was still closeted, he doesn’t want to know what it’s like to be looked at with expectations, and then failing said expectations.

‘Still closeted,’ he thinks, like he could even be considered out of the closet now. He’s like, halfway in the closet now. Rose is the only one who knows everything (that he’s a boy, that he stil _likes boys_ ) and everyone else is kind of a vague tossup. He’s started wearing his binder semi-regularly and dressing a little differently, and people have given him a few looks for it, but nothing too terrifying yet.

He’s having a particularly good day when he decides to get back online. Some old lady called him ‘young man’ at the grocery store and he nearly fucking cried over it while he was hugging her and, needless to say, he’s feeling pretty fucking good about himself.

What’s the worst that could happen if he meets someone and they reject him? He’s been rejected before. It’s not different.

...It’s extremely different. If he gets rejected for being trans, that’s not just a ‘sorry dude, you’re not my type.’

He decides not to think about it and opens Grindr anyway.

He spends about twenty minutes swiping for the hell of it and not responding to any of the matches he makes. It feels good just to make the matches _period,_ like maybe he _can be_ an attractive man, but then. Someone messages him first.

He almost ignores it, but the profile picture catches his eye. There’s no _way_ that guy liked him back, if it’s who he thinks it is, that guy was way the fuck out of his league.

Sure enough, though, when he clicks the message, it’s the guy. _Karkat._ Twenty six years old. Six foot two inches. A fireman. Stacked to _all_ fucking hell, of course the guy uploaded a shirtless mirror pic. The man looks like he walked right out of Dave’s wettest dream. It would take him ten minutes to lick a straight line down the man’s body from head to toe.

What the fuck does he wants with a scrawny round faced twink?

He reads the message and taps his fingers on the side of his phone for a few minutes, just looking at it. It’s cheesy. Dave isn’t sure how serious the rom-com thing in his bio was, but either way, asking a musician what kind of music he plays is just about the blandest thing you could ask.

But Karkat is hot as fuck, so Dave thinks he can forgive him a little bit.

DAVE: hey  
DAVE: i mix a little this a little that  
DAVE: mostly lo fi house sometimes harder stuff  
DAVE: depends on how im feeling really  
DAVE: you listen?

It would be too good to be true for Karkat to be into Dave’s music. Most guys would pretend to be, to get in his pants, but they’re never really that into it in the end. The ones that _were_ into it would look down on him, like it was just sooo cute for a girl to think she could mix. Adorable.

Ugly bastards.

Dave rolls onto his back on his bed and goes back to his home page so he can keep swiping.

Karkat’s phone buzzes and he grabs it, being careful not to drop it in the water. He’s got a couple messages back from that cute blonde. 

He reads them and frowns. What a vague fucking answer. Or maybe it’s not, maybe it’d be comprehensible if Karkat actually knew anything about music, but “a little this a little that” doesn’t really give him any idea about what it sounds like. Is it rap? Hip hop? Electronic something or other? Whatever, it’s just a shitty conversation starter anyway, it doesn’t have to be that deep.

KARKAT: UH, NOT REALLY. TO BE HONEST I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LO-FI EVEN MEANS, I PRETTY MUCH DON’T KNOW JACK FROM SHIT ABOUT MUSIC, SORRY.   
KARKAT: ALL I EVER LISTEN TO ASIDE FROM WHATEVER BULLSHIT THEY’RE PLAYING WHEN I GO OUT CLUBBING IS NICKELBACK AND MCR. DON’T FUCKING LAUGH.  
KARKAT: I’D BE DOWN TO HEAR YOUR STUFF SOMETIME THOUGH. NO PROMISES I’LL LIKE IT THOUGH.

Ugh. Karkat can tell he’s coming across like an asshole, but what the fuck else is new? He knows he’s got one of those personalities that grows on you like a wart. He’s abrasive, overly honest, has a hot temper and is prone to insulting people--sometimes by accident, usually not. Somehow, he’s still got a shit ton of friends; he’s even friends with a lot of his exes. He thinks he’s a decent person and a good friend, but he’s definitely an asshole at the same time.

Because of this, he attributes a good ninety percent of his dating successes to his abs and biceps rather than his less-than-charming messaging skills, and he usually tries to meet up with guys sooner than later to avoid accidentally pissing them off before he even gets to hook up with them.

Dave laughs out loud when he reads the message he gets back. Nickleback and MCR? What a tool. And flat out admitting to having no idea what Dave is talking about? At least he’s honest. It’s cute, in a way. Endearing, at least.

At least Dave knows the guy isn’t going to lie to him to get laid. Well played, Karkat.

DAVE: hahahahaha  
DAVE: theres pretty much no way for me to not laugh at what you just said  
DAVE: sorry if that makes me a dick  
DAVE: id love to spin for you some time  
DAVE: or you could listen to my soundcloud

Shit, what is he doing? He sounds like he’s just trying to promote his music now, and that’s definitely not what he’s trying to do.

DAVE: or uh  
DAVE: dont do that  
DAVE: you just said you wouldnt like it im not trying to like push it on you

Wow, Dave, you are so good at this. Send a few hundred more messages and really drill it home that you’re an idiot and he should never text you back again.

DAVE: you go clubbing a lot?

Nice subject change. Dave’s only been clubbing a few times, and it was mostly just an excuse to do drugs and hook up. Is that why Karkat goes too? He can’t help imagining that rippling torso all sweaty and naked and rolling to the bass. Fuck, he’d probably feel great to grind on, those big firm hands on his hips.

He shifts his thighs and bites his lip. _Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dave._ He rolls back onto his stomach and watches his screen like the desperate thirsty fuck he apparently is.

Karkat watches in amusement as Dave sends him a ton of messages all in a row, each one making his phone vibrate in his hand. For some reason though, it’s not coming across as desperate or douchey, Dave just seems kinda nervous, maybe? It’s… cute. Karkat rubs at his mouth and tries not to smile too hard. He’s literally only been talking to the guy for five minutes, he needs to fucking chill or _he’s_ the one who’s gonna look desperate.

KARKAT: INSULTING MY MUSIC TASTE DOES MAKE YOU A DICK, YEAH. EXCELLENT PERCEPTION SKILLS THERE. BUT YOU’RE PRETTY FUCKING CUTE SO I’LL FORGIVE YOU THIS TIME.  
KARKAT: AND I DIDN’T SAY I *WOULDN’T* LIKE YOUR MUSIC, ASSHOLE, I JUST SAID I WON’T PROMISE TO LIKE IT. GO AHEAD AND LINK ME, I’LL CHECK IT OUT.

Fuck it, he’s been meaning to learn more about music anyway. Can’t hurt to give the guy’s stuff a quick listen.

KARKAT: I USUALLY GO OUT ABOUT ONCE A WEEK OR SO, YEAH. A LOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE PRETTY INTO CLUBBING AND I GUESS IT RUBBED OFF ON ME. I’M PRETTY SHIT AT DANCING, BUT AFTER A FEW DRINKS I STOP GIVING A SHIT AND DO IT ANYWAY.  
KARKAT: HOW ABOUT YOU, DO YOU GO OUT MUCH?

He thinks it’d be fun to take Dave out clubbing. The guy’s so much smaller than him, he could fit right in his arms while they were dancing. It’d almost be like they were spooning on the dance floor, that’s kind of sweet... He flushes and rolls his eyes at himself for being cheesy, grateful for the millionth time that nobody can read his stupid sappy mind.

Wow, Dave should _not_ be this warm over being told he’s cute, especially not on a hookup app where saying someone is cute is pretty much a requirement. But a stright up fucking beefcake like _that_ saying Dave is cute?? Wild.

DAVE: i go out every now and then but not that often  
DAVE: it would be dope to play at a club sometime though  
DAVE: i mostly just play alone in my room lol

Wow, he needs to shut the fuck up, he’s coming across like a total loser. Is he nervous? Fuck.

DAVE: uh i could be down to go sometime though  
DAVE: if youre trying to ask

...smooth, Strider.

He quickly pulls up his own pages and copies the link to one of his latest tapes. Conveniently, he’s titled one _Romance_ and maybe that will save him some face with this guy. He said he likes romance, right?

DAVE: uh anyway here  
DAVE: [LINK]

It’s not his favorite tape, but it’s nice, he guesses, and it's titled _'Romance'_ which Karkat is definitely into, so...

Damn, suddenly he’s squirmish over whether or not Karkat will like it. He already said it’s not his thing, so he probably won’t, but Dave… kind of wants him to.

Karkat grins at Dave’s awkward attempt to ask him out. He knows he shouldn’t let himself get his hopes up too high, just in case Dave ends up being an asshole, but he’s feeling good about this so far. 

He clicks on the link, noting that the album is called _Romance._ Heh, Dave must have read his bio. Well, Karkat won’t complain about his interests being catered to. 

The music starts up, playing through the tinny speakers on his phone and echoing off the bathroom walls. It’s surprisingly soft. Relaxing. It’s giving Karkat some kind of nostalgic feeling that’s hard to describe. Definitely not something he’d normally listen to, but… it’s actually kind of nice. Maybe there’s more to music than just Gerard Way wailing over an electric guitar. Not that he’s about to drop his faves or anything, fuck no, but he might be persuaded to broaden his musical horizons a tiny bit. He lets it continue to play in the background while he messages Dave back. 

KARKAT: YEAH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN. BUT LET THE RECORD STAND THAT *YOU* ASKED *ME* OUT, THOUGH, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.  
KARKAT: I’M FREE ON SATURDAY NIGHT IF YOU WANT. MENJO’S HAS PRETTY DECENT CHEAP DRINKS, AND THEY’RE DOING KARAOKE NIGHT WHICH IS ALWAYS ENTERTAINING IN A HORRIFIC, CRINGEWORTHY I-NEED-TO-BLEACH-MY-EARDRUMS-NOW KIND OF WAY.   
KARKAT: I’M DOWN TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE THOUGH, IF YOU’D RATHER NOT SUBJECT YOURSELF TO AURICULAR TORTURE. YOUR CHOICE, I REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

The music continues to play, and he swipes back and forth between the pictures on Dave’s profile and shit, he really _is_ cute as fuck, isn’t he. Karkat wishes he had a picture of Dave without his huge-ass shades on, but that’s okay. Soon he’ll get to meet Dave in person and Karkat will kiss him so hard those stupid glasses will fly right off his face.

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF AURICULAR TORTURE, YOUR MUSIC ISN’T ACTUALLY HALF BAD. NOT THAT I HAVE ANY METRIC OF COMPARISON SINCE I’VE LITERALLY NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE, BUT IT’S NOT MAKING ME ACTIVELY WANT TO VOMIT UP MY DINNER.

He regrets the message as soon as he sends it. Why couldn’t he just say “I like your music” like a normal person? He groans, sinking his face below the water and blowing bubbles out his nose. Dave’s probably gonna drop his ass after that message, what the fuck.

Dave’s eyes go a little wide at the absolute wall of text he receives before he even reads it. If nothing else, Karkat is wordy as fuck, and that makes Dave feel a little bit better about his own endless stream of word vomit. Maybe he’s not doing so badly, in that department.

After reading it all, he rests a cheek in his hand. Karkat is kind of a fucking nerd, isn’t he? All those big words for no fucking reason. Asking Dave to _Karaoke._ Who does that?

Nerds, is who.

DAVE: is it really that big a deal who asked who?  
DAVE: i guess i can take the fall for it  
DAVE: youre kind of super fucking hot i think i can take the hit here  
DAVE: karaoke though man you really know how to woo a guy

He trips a little over the end of that message. He almost types _a girl._ It’s been weeks now, and he still can’t completely get a grip on himself. A sick feeling settles in his stomach and completely overwrites the arousal that had been budding there. Great.

DAVE: willingly choosing to embarrass yourself right in front of me  
DAVE: a brave move if youre trying to get in my pants  
DAVE: even telling me you like my music  
DAVE: swooooooonnnnnn  
DAVE: saturday sounds good to me

“Super fucking hot,” huh? Seems like he didn't fuck up with his poorly worded compliment after all. Maybe he won't accidentally scare Dave off before they can meet up. Actually, he should probably wrap up the conversation before he says something worse, but... he's really enjoying talking to Dave. They're, as the kids would say, “vibing.”

KARKAT: HAH. SOUNDS GOOD.   
KARKAT: AND I'LL KEEP IN MIND THAT YOU’VE GOT A HUMILIATION KINK. I’M BASICALLY EMBARRASSING MYSELF 24/7, SO I GUESS YOU SHOULD PREPARE TO BE SWOONING A LOT. ;)

His movie stopped playing a while ago and the bathwater’s getting chilly now, so he steps out of the tub and dries off. He gets dressed in just his boxers and grabs another Claw from the fridge. He’s a big enough guy that these drinks barely give him a buzz, but he loves how they taste. Anyway, he prefers to get drunk only when he’s out with friends or dates; getting trashed alone makes him kind of depressed.

He grabs his laptop and lies down on his bed, starting up another romantic comedy that he’ll half watch because he's seen it twenty times before. He downs half the can of Claw and checks his phone to see if Dave’s responded. 

Ohhhhh, Karkat is funny, too? Fuck, Dave has probably never actually had a conversation go this smoothly on Tinder. Somehow, he thought Grindr would be worse? Not to get ahead of himself, but his first conversation is kind of a fucking score.

...he has a date Saturday. How did that happen so fast?

And it’s like. A date date. Kind of. A club date might not be the most romantic thing, but it’s a hell of a lot more romantic than just going to the guy’s house for a quick romp and then never calling him again. He finds himself hoping… that they call each other again.

Yikes. Way to get attached way too fucking fast.

DAVE: im starting to see that  
DAVE: you almost have less of a filter than i do  
DAVE: us getting together could be dangerous  
DAVE: everyone within a fifty mile radius will be at risk to catch second hand embarrassment  
DAVE: are you prepared to be responsible for so many casualties?

Karkat’s stomach flutters in excitement at Dave’s wording of “us getting together.” Shit, is Dave hoping for this to be an actual relationship, not just a hookup? 

Fuck, it’s too soon to start thinking like that, don’t fucking scare him off. Keep it light and funny and sexy. Nothing too intense. Karkat knows he can be _way too_ fucking intense sometimes.

KARKAT: IT’LL BE WORTH IT IF IT MEANS I CAN GET UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH YOUR CUTE ASS. NOT THAT I CAN SEE YOUR ASS IN YOUR PHOTOS BUT I’M JUST ASSUMING, BASED ON THE REST OF YOU.  
KARKAT: SOME BYSTANDERS MAY DIE, BUT IT’S A SACRIFICE I AM WILLING TO MAKE.

Fuck, he’s actually really excited. He hasn't had a real date in forever, most of the guys he's been with recently were kind of one-off hookups, which was fine, he didn't particularly feel a spark with any of them. They were all hot enough and one or two were pretty good in bed, but the conversations were flat and uninteresting. 

He bites his lip happily thinking about how he's going to woo the fuck out of Dave on the dance floor with his (hopefully endearingly terrible) moves. 

Dave laughs at the next couple of texts he gets. Is Karkat for real? He can’t even think about the fact that Karkat wants to get up close and personal with him, considering the rest of what he says.

DAVE: dude  
DAVE: did you just quote shrek while trying to flirt with me  
DAVE: does shrek count as a romcom?  
DAVE: oh my god

He laughs again as he realizes that Shrek definitely counts as a rom com? There’s pretty much no other classification of movie it could fall under. Eye opening. Show stopping. Wild.

He sits up in his bed and leans against the wall, more invested in the conversation now than in the nap he had probably been about to take.

Karkat snickers at Dave’s response. He wasn’t expecting Dave to actually catch that reference.

KARKAT: SHREK *ABSOLUTELY* COUNTS AS A ROMCOM. ALTHOUGH, IN MY OPINION THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SHREK AND DONKEY WAS A LOT MORE COMPELLING THAN SHREK AND FIONA’S MILQUETOAST “WE LOVE EACH OTHER BUT OH NO I HAVE A TERRIBLE SECRET YOU CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT” PLOTLINE. CLICHE MUCH?  
KARKAT: IT’S STILL ROMANTIC AS FUCK, THOUGH, AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT. BUT SHREK AND DONKEY JUST HAVE A COMPELLING NATURAL CHEMISTRY THAT MR. AND MRS. OGRE’S BASIC-BITCH MARRIAGE CAN NEVER COMPETE WITH.  
KARKAT: OR MAYBE I’M JUST GAY AS SHIT AND CAN’T GET ON BOARD WITH SHIPPING A STRAIGHT COUPLE WHEN THERE’S A POTENTIAL GAY ONE *RIGHT THERE*.

Okay, he needs to stop talking about Shrek now. And about shipping, jesus. Dave doesn’t need to know he’s _that_ much of a nerd already. He feels a mixture of shame and pride as he thinks about his 30,000-word Shrek/Donkey fanfic, buried on a hard drive where no one will ever read it.

KARKAT: UH, ANYWAY.   
KARKAT: YOU KNOW AN INCRIMINATING AMOUNT ABOUT MY MOVIE TASTE NOW. SO WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH?

Dave reads every fucking word of Karkat’s sizable rant about the romantic themes in Shrek and he feels like he probably could have gone his whole life _without_ reading it, but he also feels like he’s gotten a pretty deep look at who this devastatingly hot fireman really is under all those muscles, and what he sees is… a big fat fucking nerd.

He finds himself grinning stupidly at his phone and pulling his knees up to his chest.

DAVE: youre pretty passionate about shrek dude  
DAVE: i can respect that  
DAVE: you probably wont like my taste in television though  
DAVE: i watch like  
DAVE: exclusively shitty reality tv  
DAVE: keeping up with the kardashians  
DAVE: married at first sight  
DAVE: too hot to handle  
DAVE: antique roadshow  
DAVE: the great british baking show  
DAVE: okay the great british baking show is actually good but i cant cook for shit  
DAVE: i just lick the screen and let my fantasies do the rest  
DAVE: literally anything gordon ramsay is on ill nut to  
DAVE: the things i would die for him to say to me

Wait. Hold on, he said too much. Fuck.

DAVE: i mean

A long pause.

DAVE: no i meant what i said  
DAVE: gordon ramsay can get it

Karkat reads through Dave’s TV list, nodding as he recognizes most of the titles. Honestly he doesn’t mind shitty reality TV, he watches it sometimes, although definitely not “exclusively.” He’s not sure why Dave thinks he’d judge Dave’s taste in television, after he just went off on a rant about _Shrek_ of all things.

He snorts at Dave’s comments about Gordon Ramsay. He can’t tell if Dave’s joking or not, but either way it’s fucking funny. And a tiny bit sexy too. Thinking about Dave nutting in any situation, even if it’s to a stupid cooking show (which is probably a joke… right?) is getting Karkat a little hot under the collar.

KARKAT: RAMSAY *CAN* GET IT, YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT.   
KARKAT: I’D LIKE TO MAKE HIM EAT MY MEAT RAW, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING. ;)  
KARKAT: …   
KARKAT: FUCK, THAT WAS TERRIBLE. PLEASE PRETEND YOU DIDN’T READ THAT.  
KARKAT: ANYWAY. MAYBE WE COULD “NETFLIX AND CHILL” SOMETIME WITH YOUR SHITTY TV SHOWS, I WOULDN’T MIND THAT.   
KARKAT: ASSUMING OUR DATE ISN’T A COMPLETE TRASH FIRE AND WE DON’T END UP DESPISING EACH OTHER. TRULY, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT MENJO’S.

He shakes his head; good god why is he like this? More importantly, how the fuck is his social incompetence actually _working_ on Dave?

Dave can’t stop grinning at his phone as he gets message after message from Karkat. It almost doesn’t even matter what they say (though, what they have been saying is pretty fucking good) but it’s just comforting to know that Karkat talks _just as much_ as he does. It feels good to not have to worry about being the one that talks too much and driving the other guy away.

Just, wall of text after wall of text. Amazing.

And reading what they say confirms what he already knows. Yeah, this guy is a total dork. It’s not fair for a guy to be that fucking hot and funny at the same time. He’s pretty sure that’s against the law or something.

DAVE: im glad to hear your expectations for our date are right where they should be  
DAVE: i havent been on a real date in a while  
DAVE: is that lame of me to admit  
DAVE: i mean menjos isnt exactly a candle lit dinner but you know what i mean  
DAVE: netflix and chill is usually more my speed

Oh god, does that make him sound like a whore? No one says Netflix and Chill and means anything other than fucking on the couch.

Not that that’s _wrong._ Dave likes to get down and dirty as much as the next guy. But maybe he shouldn’t be telling this clearly charming and fantastic guy that he’s easy.

Well, okay, they are talking on a hookup app. It is what it is.

DAVE: if we watch my shows though i cant promise ill pay any attention to you

DAVE: shit gets me transfixed  
DAVE: the drama  
DAVE: the drama karkat

Karkat knows Dave’s joking, but the mention of a candle lit dinner tugs a string in his romantic heart. He pictures himself seated across from Dave, their hands clasped over the table, eating by candlelight while being serenaded by an Italian accordion player… wait, is he’s just describing that scene from _Lady and the Tramp_ where the dogs eat spaghetti? Fuck.

It still doesn’t sound half bad, though. He files it away in his mind under “unlikely fantasies,” right next to the one where Heath Ledger appears on his doorstep, fully alive, and takes him on a romantic paintballing date in Seattle. Ugh, _swoon..._

KARKAT: OH, DON’T WORRY, I CAN BE DRAMATIC AS ALL FUCK.   
KARKAT: ESPECIALLY IF THAT’S WHAT IT TAKES TO PULL YOUR ATTENTION AWAY FROM KHLOE KARDASHIAN’S PATERNITY LAWSUIT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT FAMILY IS UP TO THIS MONTH.

He bites his lip, not wanting to push too hard with the flirting, but-- fuck it. It’s Grindr, for god’s sake, he’s gotta be a little forward or Dave might think he’s not even interested in having sex. And he definitely, _definitely_ is.

KARKAT: ANYWAY, I CAN THINK OF A FEW OTHER THINGS I MIGHT BE ABLE TO UTILIZE IN ORDER TO HOLD YOUR ATTENTION…  
KARKAT: LIKE MAYBE MY HANDS, OR MY MOUTH. OR… OTHER PARTS OF MY BODY.

Wow. Amazing sexting, Karkat, you really knocked it out of the park. He sighs loudly, covering his face with his arm.

Dave is about to be impressed by Karkat’s Kardashian knowledge, but then, Karkat keeps going and-

and oh. Are they doing that now?

The message is just as charmingly awkward as the rest of them have been, but this one leaves him flushed as barely-repressed fantasies come to the surface. That perfect pout kissing his lips, down his neck. Those big, firm looking hands holding him around the waist. He shifts his thighs together as he thinks about being pulled into Karkat’s lap to feel the _’other parts of his body.’_

Fuck…

He keeps his thighs squeezed together as warmth starts to spread between them.

DAVE: i dont know dude  
DAVE: the case is pretty captivating  
DAVE: your various body parts would have to be pretty convincing to get me to look away

...who the fuck is he kidding?

DAVE: who am i kidding you could be the worst kisser in the world and i still wouldnt be able to take my eyes off you  
DAVE: your chest is like just begging to be felt up  
DAVE: and i bet youre a great kisser anyway right  
DAVE: you look like you would be

God, shut _up,_ Dave. Was that too much? That was too much. Fuck. _Fuck._

_Wow,_ Dave really took Karkat’s lame, barely-sexy cue and ran with it, didn’t he? Karkat grins, thumbs flying as he writes back.

KARKAT: BEGGING TO BE FELT UP, HUH? I GUESS YOU’RE NOT WRONG, THESE PECS CERTAINLY WON’T GROPE THEMSELVES.  
KARKAT: AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD I’M A DECENT KISSER. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’D BE PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT *GETTING* KISSED, TOO, SO I GUESS WE’RE A SOLID MATCH IN THAT REGARD.  
KARKAT: I’VE GOT A FEW OTHER MOUTH-RELATED SKILLS, TOO... MAYBE IF YOU’RE LUCKY YOU’LL GET TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE.

Yeah, he’s hard now, so fucking sue him. He adjusts himself in his boxers and sighs, flicking back to Dave’s pictures again. His eyes trace over Dave’s lips and jawline and… ugh. _Yum._ He wonders if Dave might be willing to trade pictures of a different variety. Maybe he should take some of his own. You know, just in case Dave asks for them.

He slides one hand down between his legs, feeling the smooth and silky fabric tenting over his hard cock, teasing his balls, squeezing his inner thigh. Fuck, that feels way too good. He keeps an eye on his phone as he touches himself over his boxers, waiting to see Dave’s response.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow.

Dave feels a rush of heat downward and he has to turn his phone away for a second while he shivers. 

_Karkat wants to put his mouth on him._

He quickly picks his phone back up and flips over to Karkat’s pictures, eyeing his lips, his strong jaw, his _shoulders,_ god, Dave could ride his face for _days._ His fingertips slip under the band of his boxers, just resting against his stomach as he eyeballs Karkat’s plump lips, perfect teeth. He’s probably fantastic with his tongue and-

...and he’s probably expecting to put that tongue on a completely different piece of hardware.

Dave frowns as he ruins his own fantasy. His crotch gives another weak little throb, like nooo, don’t ignore meeee, but how could Dave _ever_ hope to ignore it?

He sighs.

He takes a second.

He tells himself that this is just for fun, and it doesn’t matter what he really does or doesn’t have in his pants. Karkat doesn’t have to know. He can still have this hot little sexting session and never have anyone’s feelings hurt over it.

Yeah.

Pull yourself together, Dave.

DAVE: well ive never been very lucky and id hate to let this opportunity slip me by  
DAVE: so what if i just said please?  
DAVE: please karkat show me what that gorgeous mouth do

His hand still rests against his stomach and he lets it sink further down, resting comfortably in the crease of his thigh. He’s still sitting with his legs pressed together, knees up, back against the wall. Maybe if this doesn’t go too far south, he’ll have a reason to lie down again…

There’s a long pause and Karkat panics for a moment, wondering if he went too far, if he said something Dave wasn’t comfortable with. Maybe it was presumptive to assume Dave would want to sext before they even meet in person? Although more than a few guys on Grindr have greeted Karkat before with just a “dtf?” or a dick pic, it’s kind of part of the culture... And Dave _had_ seemed interested... hadn’t he? Fuck.

He’s about to start berating himself, but then his phone vibrates. He reads Dave’s messages, eyes catching on the words _’please’_ and _’gorgeous’_ and okay, yeah, Dave is definitely interested. A mixture of relief and arousal floods through Karkat. 

KARKAT: I GUESS SINCE YOU SAID *PLEASE*...

His face grows warm as he licks his lips and snaps a close-up selfie of his lower face, his mouth pink and wet with saliva. He sucks two fingers suggestively into his mouth and takes a second photo, then sends both pictures to Dave.

KARKAT: NOW IMAGINE THAT, BUT INSTEAD OF MY FINGERS, IT’S MY MOUTH AROUND YOUR DICK.

His own dick strains in his boxers, and he huffs and tugs them down around his thighs. He fists himself and strokes a few times to relieve some of the tension, but lets go after a few moments. He doesn’t want to rush this, after all. His heart is beating fast in his throat, he hasn’t felt this excited about sexting with someone in a long fucking time. He wonders if Dave’s touching himself too, wherever he is.

Dave’s first reaction is _holy fucking shit, Karkat is so fucking hot._ The first one is good- wet lips, a little flash of teeth and tongue, but the _second one._

Wooooooow…

When he told Karkat to show him, he didn’t think Karkat would take him so seriously. He can’t take his wide eyes off it. There’s so much to look at- The way Karkat’s lips wrap around his fingers, his _big_ fingers, his big hands, his lean jaw, his- wow.

_Wow._

His thighs fall apart as he continues to stare at it, his hand coming out to palm himself through his boxers, rubbing, ugh. It zips up and down his spine and leaves him hot. He can only imagine what that mouth would feel like wrapped around his clit.

His… dick. Can he call it that? It makes his stomach turn over, but he’s not sure if it’s a good or a bad feeling.

...his second reaction is that there’s no fucking way he can send pictures back. Maybe he can get away with a few safe shots, but if Karkat wants to take things further… he can’t…

He groans and rearranges himself on the bed. He sinks with his back still against the wall, spreads his legs just enough, his knees bent up. He tugs the bottom of his hoodie down enough to cover half his crotch area, and covers the rest of it with his hand. His boxers slide up his round thighs a bit, showing as much skin as possible. It takes him a minute, but he manages to get a picture where it looks like there could probably be a dick hidden under his hand if he had one..

It’s coy looking. Cute. Shy. And Dave is _not_ shy, but he can pretend to be if it’s going to get him out of sending actual nudes.

DAVE: oh im imagining it

He takes a deep breath…

...and sends the picture.

DAVE: i was imagining it the second i laid eyes on you honestly  
DAVE: who wouldnt be  
DAVE: is that something you like to do? giving head?  
DAVE: your bodys so huge dude id have to spread my legs so far for you to fit down there  
DAVE: god

He rubs himself again through his clothes and drops his head back with a groan. He’s probably never been with someone as big as Karkat looks, and that is just so fucking hot.

Karkat barely has time to admire the picture Dave sends before his screen is flooding with more horny messages. Karkat reads them, flushing hot all over, then scrolls back up to take his time looking at the photo. 

It’s a fairly modest shot, but he can see a good amount of Dave’s thighs, and he’s rubbing his hand over his boxers and _fuck--_ the thought that Dave’s touching himself right now makes Karkat’s dick twitch with need. He grabs it again and strokes himself, arousal pumping through his veins. 

Idly rubbing his thumb over the tip of his dick, he spreads a bead of pre around, imagining the sounds Dave would make, the look on his face if Karkat were to sink down over his dick and take him in all the way… _fuck._ He types back with his free hand.

KARKAT: GOD, YOU LOOK SO HOT FOR ME. I WANNA MARK UP THOSE PRETTY THIGHS OF YOURS.   
KARKAT: FUCK, YOU’D LOOK AMAZING WITH YOUR LEGS SPREAD OUT AROUND ME. I WANNA WRAP MY LIPS AROUND YOUR DICK AND MAKE YOU CUM, JUST SUCK THE ORGASM RIGHT OUT OF YOU...  
KARKAT: YOU WANNA SEE HOW HOT YOU’RE MAKING ME RIGHT NOW?

He grips the base of his dick and takes a couple pics. He doesn’t like to brag, but he knows (from the many guys who’ve told him) that he’s got a nice dick, and he likes sending pictures of it, as long as the guy he’s messaging wants one, of course. In any case, he feels a lot more confident about his body than his less-than-spectacular flirting skills. 

He doesn’t want to send one without permission though; that’s just rude, so he waits to see what Dave says. 

Wow, Karkat wants to _mark_ him? Does that mean he’s kinky, or he’s just one of those guys who thinks hickeys are hot? No, he said _marking;_ that definitely means he’s kinky. Dave’s head spins as he wonders how deep that goes, what other kind of freaky shit Karkat might be into. Dave’s not, like, an expert or anything, but he definitely likes to play around with new things.

He’s got his hand halfway back inside his boxers when the rest of what Karkat says hits him. He slides two fingers in a V around his clit-- his _dick..._ His dick. As he imagines Karkat laying there, taking sexy pictures of his cock for him. Laid out, stroking himself, taking just the right picture to drive Dave wild...

Goddamnit, that is _so fucking hot._

And he _really_ wants to see it, but knowing that he can’t send anything back makes him reluctant to say yes.

He chews his lip as he slowly circles a finger around his dick, finger getting wetter and wetter as it goes. What should he say?

DAVE: dont worry   
DAVE: youre definitely going to make me cum  
DAVE: whether your mouth is here on me or not  
DAVE: but i have to be unsexily honest for a second here  
DAVE: im a little nervous about like  
DAVE: taking actual nude pictures so  
DAVE: im sorry if thats a deal breaker for you  
DAVE: as much as i definitely want to fucking see “how hot i make you”  
DAVE: knowing i got your dick hard is making me hot right back all on its own  
DAVE: how many fingers do you think i need to fit inside me to take it?

Wow, that last line backfires on him and makes _him_ horny to think about.

Karkat’s brow furrows as Dave’s messages get serious for a second, he’s worried he did something wrong, but-- oh, Dave’s just not comfortable sending him nudes? That’s no big deal, plenty of guys don’t like to send dick pics. He can understand why Dave might be awkward about saying so, though; some guys can be real assholes if you don’t send them a photo back. 

He hopes… he hopes _he_ doesn’t come across as one of those assholes. Does he? Shit. No, it’s fine, Dave’s probably just being cautious.

KARKAT: OF COURSE IT’S NOT A DEAL BREAKER, DUMBASS, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.   
KARKAT: ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME IS THAT WE’RE BOTH COMFORTABLE AND HAVING A GOOD TIME.  
KARKAT: YOU’RE GETTING ME HARD AS FUCK JUST BY TALKING TO ME, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS EXPERIENCE. 10/10 WOULD SEXT AGAIN.

Okay, he’s being kind of cheesy right now, but fuck it, he’d rather sound like a dweeb than a pushy douchebag. 

It sounds like Dave’s still okay with seeing his pic, anyway... And, _fuck,_ that line about fingering him open is-- jesus. Karkat’s breathing is getting heavy, his fist tight around his dick, still stroking slowly. 

He sends the photo.

KARKAT: WHY DON’T *YOU* TELL *ME* HOW MANY FINGERS YOU THINK YOU’D NEED FOR THIS?

He closes his eyes, moaning at the thought of getting to finger Dave’s ass open. He usually needs to stretch a guy with at least four fingers, sometimes adding his tongue as well before they’re ready to take him. God, he’s weak just thinking about it… Dave falling apart under his tongue, his hole stretched wide open, crying out and moaning while Karkat fucks him into the bed… He hisses and grabs the base of his dick again, not wanting to go off too soon. 

Dave lets out a breath as Karkat reassures him that he’s not upset about it. Karkat has been really nice this whole time, and he’s only made even sweeter by being so understanding. For a conversation that Dave didn’t have fair high hopes in nailing, they’re… kind of fucking nailing it. Dave is having a great time, and it seems like Karkat is, too.

Maybe he should have zero expectations more often.

Speaking of zero expectations- holy fuck- that’s a _nice dick._ Not to sound like a whore or anything, but Dave has seen a lot of dicks, and this one is taking his fucking breath away. His mouth is watering and he’s sinking two fingers into himself with a gasp before he even reads the next message. He’s wet as fuck, relaxed with arousal, so it’s _easy,_ and he groans as he lets his head rock back again.

Okay. New position, fuck this.

He moves himself around and kicks his boxers off as he rolls onto his stomach. He squishes his arm between himself and the bed and sinks both fingers back into his hole with an audible, “fuck yeah…” He grinds his dick down into the palm of his hand, his fingers pushing up inside him with the motion, and he bites his lip because _fuck._

With his free hand, he scrambles to get back to Karkat. He’s been quiet for too long.

DAVE: you are so hot  
DAVE: like so fucking hot dude  
DAVE: sorry for disappearing for a sec i was  
DAVE: busy  
DAVE: im two fingers deep im thinking maybe two more  
DAVE: mine are so small compared to what yours look like  
DAVE: thick fingers for a guy with a thick cock  
DAVE: jesus fucking christ  
DAVE: i would let you fuck me any way you wanted

He wonders if Karkat would prefer to fuck him in the front hole or the back one. _Wow,_ that’s a thought. He’s played around with anal stuff before, but not like… not with a cock like _that._ It would probably hurt so much…

For a guy this sweet, though… with a fucking body like that… Dave would try it. Hell, he meant what he said, he would try anything Karkat fucking wanted.

He gives a shuddering moan as he grinds his hips again, slick coating his hand now, making a mess between his thighs, as he pushes a third finger in.

DAVE: got three…  
DAVE: dont finish without me

There’s an even longer pause than before, and this time Karkat smirks because he’s pretty sure he knows the reason for it. He waits patiently for Dave to come back with a reply, his dick hot and heavy and impatient in his hand.

When Dave does reply, holy shit, it’s-- it’s incredibly goddamn hot. 

Karkat groans out loud at _'I’m two fingers deep.'_ His mind conjures an image of Dave on his knees with his fingers stuffed inside himself, practically fucking himself on them while he messages Karkat one handed. And his offer to let Karkat fuck him any way he wants… _jesus,_ this kid’s going to be the fucking death of him. Karkat can’t help it, he starts jerking himself again, just barely managing to keep it slow and steady.

His eyes are glued to his phone as more messages appear. _’Don’t finish without me,’_ Dave says, and Karkat groans in misery and arousal. As if his body is determined to betray him, he feels his orgasm building and forces himself to pull his hand away. _Shit._ He isn’t usually ready to blow this early, but fuck if this isn’t the hottest he’s been for a guy in ages. 

KARKAT: YOU BETTER FINISH SOON, THEN, BECAUSE I’M   
KARKAT: FUCK  
KARKAT: REALLY FUCKING CLOSE, DAVE.  
KARKAT: CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU FINGERING YOURSELF OPEN FOR ME, STRETCHING YOURSELF OPEN SO YOU CAN TAKE ME...  
KARKAT: I BET YOU LOOK GORGEOUS, PANTING AND SHAKING AND WRECKED. I HOPE YOU CAN GET THAT FOURTH FINGER IN THERE, OTHERWISE MY COCK WILL SPLIT YOU IN HALF FOR SURE.

His whole body is tight and flushed from wanting to cum, and he desperately shoves his fingers in his mouth again. He works them in and out, needing _something_ to relieve the tension since he can’t touch his dick unless he wants to nut. And Dave said he can’t, yet.

Dave _moans_ as he reads Karkat’s messages. He grinds hard into his hand, eager, sliding his dick over his palm and letting his fingers fuck up into him. A hot thrill of arousal shudders through him and he curls his fingers into it, letting out a, _”fuck!”_

He’s _soaked._

DAVE: please split me in half with your cock  
DAVE: thats so fucking hot wow  
DAVE: im close too but im not ready yet  
DAVE: i swear im not usually this fast  
DAVE: want to open all the way up fo ryou first

His fingers start fumbling over his texts, actually fucking trembling because he’s so hot, too horny, feels too fucking good.

He flips back over to look at Karkat’s dick pic, groaning, chewing his lip as he imagines it inside him. He sees himself riding Karkat, sweating over him, kissing him dirty. His body shudders again as orgasm threatens him, but he clamps down around it and keeps it back.

Not yet, not yet, _fuck._

The fourth finger slides in so easily, and that fact on it’s own adds a whole ‘nother level of _way too fucking hot_ to the situation. He spreads his legs a little more and humps down on his fingers like it’s his first fucking time again.

He barely remembers to keep Karkat updated. Words are hard, typing is hard, he only manages one thing.

DAVE: fouur in

Karkat reads Dave’s messages as they arrive, one after another. His dick throbs when Dave says he’s close too, _fucking hell._ Karkat really wishes he could be there to swallow Dave’s hot load down his throat when he cums, feel him shake and tremble and cry out in orgasm.

One of Dave’s messages is sent with a typo and, fuck, is he having trouble writing because of how turned on he is? Because of _Karkat? Fuck,_ that's so incredibly fucking hot... Karkat moans around his fingers, sucking them hard, his hips jerking as they try to thrust upwards. His cock is leaking down the shaft, but he doesn’t dare touch himself to wipe it clean.

His phone buzzes with another message, and oh _fuck,_ Dave says he has four fingers inside himself... Heat floods Karkat’s lower belly and he gasps desperately, pulling his fingers out of his mouth with a wet pop and fisting them in his sheets. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to regain some control over himself.

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT.  
KARKAT: DAVE  
KARKAT: PLEASE I NEED YOU TO FUCKING CUM FOR ME.  
KARKAT: YOU’RE TOO FUCKING HOT, I CAN’T  
KARKAT: I’M SO FUCKING CLOSE, *PLEASE*.

His hand twitches with how badly he wants to touch his cock, but, no, _no,_ he has to _wait._

Dave rocks down onto his hand with a wet moan, squeezing his thighs together again as pleasure shudders through him. His fingers stretch him _wide_ and he can’t get the image of Karkat’s dick out of his mind. His hands and his mouth and his chest and abs and _dick,_ god, it would feel so fucking good inside him.

He reads Karkat’s messages through blurry, unfocused eyes, and he thinks about all the things he wants to say back, but he can’t make his hands do it. He humps his fingers again and again and again, eyes fluttering, hole fluttering, stomach fluttering.

He needs to tell Karkat he’s close, he’s so fucking close-

DAVE: im c

Fuck.

DAVE: vlose  
DAVE: fuckkarkat

Wow, he’s going to be embarrassed about this later, but he’s too fucking gone right now to care about how fucked up his typing is.

DAVE: cummin  
DAVE: g

He has to put his phone down. He knows whatever Karkat is about to send him back is going to be hot as fuck, but he can’t read it anymore. He can just imagine it.

He closes his eyes and bites down on a knuckle, panting around it as he furiously works himself toward his orgasm.

_Fuck._

Dave’s typing like he’s drunk now, and Karkat’s arousal notches up with each one of his sloppy messages. 

The moment Dave sends the message that he’s cumming, Karkat switches to his camera app. He roughly grabs his cock, jerking it without any kind of finesse, he’s too far fucking gone to care about the subtle art of the handjob. He clumsily takes a picture as he strokes himself, feeling his orgasm building up again so fucking fast, holy shit-- 

He throws his head back with a yell and he barely has the presence of mind to snap a few more pictures as he _cums,_ shooting sticky hot liquid all over his bare stomach. The last spurt dribbles down over his hand, and he slows his pumping to a halt, sighing happily.

He glances over the photos, they’re a little blurry but you can definitely tell it’s his dick, cumming. He sends them to Dave.

KARKAT: LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.  
KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, DAVE, THAT WAS HOT AS _SHIT_.  
KARKAT: HANG ON, I NEED TO GO CLEAN UP MY MESS.

He sets his phone down and grabs a couple tissues from the bedside table, wiping the cum off his belly and hands. He tosses it and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands, grabbing a glass of water on the way back. Between the alcohol he’s had tonight and that blisteringly hot jerkoff session, he needs to make sure he rehydrates properly.

He lies back down on his bed, picking up his phone to check on Dave.

Dave fucks himself desperately until he finally reaches his peak. His thighs quake and his body trembles as he tips over the edge. He stuffs his fingers as far inside himself as he can as his walls clench around them, and he rides through it until it’s finally too much and he has to rip his hand away.

He lies there for a long moment, breathing hard and tingling all over. He hasn’t cum like that on his own in… a while. With just his hands? And a few dirty texts from a guy he just met like an hour ago?

Damn.

He sighs and picks up his phone again, and what he sees shakes him all over again. There are several blurry pictures of what is very obviously Karkat cumming all over his own fist. The fact that they’re blurry only makes them hotter, like Karkat couldn’t keep control of himself as he came. Holy shit, he can’t believe his incompetent conversation skills did that to the guy.

A quick scroll up and his embarrassing as hell typos confirm that, yeah, he wasn’t being all that hot, he didn’t even send Karkat any good pictures, but still.

He looks at the pictures again. Karkat came for him…

He rolls onto his back and makes the spur of the moment decision to take another picture. He sticks all four of his soiled fingers in his mouth and snaps a few pictures. He gets the lower half of his face and neck, flushed with exertion and the glow of just having orgasmed. He picks one where there’s no obvious pussy juices showing (read: the ones where he’s already licked it off) and sends it before he can second guess himself.

DAVE: youre not the only one who likes how i taste  
DAVE: fuck dude  
DAVE: that was a lot of fun  
DAVE: i dont want to move for like  
DAVE: a hundred years

He waits a few minutes for a response, but Karkat _did_ just say he’d be back, so he doesn’t respond right away. Still, he’s glowing in his after orgasm bliss, and he holds his phone against his chest as he closes his eyes again.

It would be nice to have sex with Karkat for real. He wonders if Karkat will try to have sex with him when they go on their date Saturday.

...he _really_ wants that, but it also makes this sick type of fear start to climb up his throat. What will Karkat think if he finds out? Should he tell Karkat or keep it a secret? What is he even supposed to say? God, he doesn’t think he could handle it if Karkat rejected him.

He thought he could handle it when he started this conversation, because it wasn’t that serious, but now… Not to be that guy who gets all emotional after having sex, but he thinks he might actually really like Karkat. Fuck.

Karkat’s mouth drops open at the photo Dave sends him. Holy-- holy _shit_. Dave’s slender fingers are stuffed in his mouth, and his chest is flushed and sweaty and so, so inviting. Karkat has a sudden overwhelming urge to grab Dave and bury his face in that smooth, pale neck, kiss him all over, never let him go, and-- what the fuck. He tries to shake off the sudden jolt of… what even is this feeling? Possessiveness? 

He’s not sure, he only knows that he wants to _take care_ of Dave. Which is so fucking stupid, because obviously Dave can take care of himself, he’s a grown ass man just like Karkat. Not to mention, Karkat’s only known him for a couple of hours. He really needs to chill the fuck out about this if he doesn’t want to scare Dave off by coming on too strong. 

Karkat closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths, trying to get back to the warm, easy post-orgasm mindset instead of this weird, too-heavy feeling. 

KARKAT: GOD, YOU’RE FUCKING HOT.   
KARKAT: I’M SURE THIS DOESN’T NEED TO BE SAID, GIVEN HOW PATHETICALLY THIRSTY I’VE BEEN FOR YOU THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION, BUT I’M... REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR DATE.  
KARKAT: UH, NOT THAT WE HAVE TO DO ANYTHING JUST BECAUSE WE’RE MEETING IN PERSON. I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY I _WANT_ TO, BUT I’D RATHER CHUG A GALLON OF RAW SEWAGE THAN MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH.

Hmm. So much for not coming on too strong. 

But maybe… maybe this is just the way Karkat fucking _is_ . Maybe if he’s ever going to be in a long term relationship that actually _goes_ anywhere, it’s gonna have to be with someone who can actually handle his level of intensity. Would he really even be happy with someone who he couldn’t be his full self around? 

Maybe he really hasn’t been doing himself any favors by trying to mold himself to fit others’ expectations.

Or, maybe Dave’s going to decide he’s a clingy asshole and never talk to him again. 

Dave’s still got his phone in his hand on his chest when it vibrates again, and he rips it up to his face so fast he nearly smacks himself with it. 

So, Karkat is thinking the same thing he is… That makes him feel such a confusing mix of both good and bad things. He loves that they’re vibrating as so much of the same frequency, but also… he’s going to have to figure out what the fuck he’s going to do.

He should tell him. He should tell him right now. Rip the fucking bandaid off.

DAVE: id like that karkat  
DAVE: believe me id kill for a guy like you to even look twice at me

Wow, Dave, _wow._ Way to not say it, pull your self-loathing attention-seeking bullshit, _and_ give him a front row invitation to the embarrassment in your pants, all at the same time. Way to go.

He’s having second thoughts about this whole thing. He’s not really in the mood to get his heart broken. Maybe he should just cut this off before it has the chance to get worse.

Karkat frowns at the self-deprecation in Dave’s messages. He’s honestly not sure where the fuck that’s coming from?? 

Dave’s… incredibly fucking hot. And sweet, and fun to talk to, and-- and Karkat’s basically ready to rip out his heart and hand it to him already, jesus christ. Karkat has a lunatic urge to drive over to Dave’s home right now, wherever the fuck he lives, and kiss some sense into him until he finally realizes how perfect and gorgeous he really is. Because that wouldn’t be creepy or unwarranted whatsoever.

At least he knows Dave’s still interested. 

KARKAT: WELL, ASSUMING OUR DATE GOES AS WELL AS THIS EVENING HAS, I CAN TELL YOU I’M GONNA WANT TO LOOK AT YOU A LOT MORE THAN TWICE.  
KARKAT: WHO AM I FUCKING KIDDING, EVEN IF OUR DATE IS AN ABSOLUTE DUMPSTER FIRE I’M STILL TAKING YOU HOME AND GOING DOWN ON YOU TIL THE SUN COMES UP. 

He closes his eyes as weak arousal lights up in his stomach again. Not enough to get him hard, but a low, pleasant ache that makes his hands twitch with wanting to touch Dave. Ugh, he’s always been a clingy cuddler after sex.

Dave smiles bittersweet at Karkat’s message, his heart already aching. What a nice guy, even if he has no idea what he’s saying.

DAVE: haha youre a really sweet guy karkat

He taps his fingers on the side of his phone for a solid thirty seconds while he tries to figure out what to say next. He’s all mixed up inside right now. He doesn’t know what he wants or what’s right, or if those two things are the same thing or not.

Maybe he should sleep on it for a night or something. He’s not thinking very straight right now.

DAVE: hey thanks for an awesome night but i think im going to go take a shower

Very subtle. A perfect bail. He really does need to go shower, he’s sweaty as fuck under his hoodie.

Karkat’s stomach flips over when Dave calls him sweet. He wants to say thanks or something, but he doesn’t know how to without sounding like an awkward douchebag. So fucking typical, he can talk on and on forever until a cute boy says something nice to him, and then he’s immediately tongue tied.

Thankfully, Dave fills the silence after not too long with a casual sign-off. Karkat’s a little (okay, more than a little) disappointed that he won’t get to keep talking to Dave, but it’s probably better if they don’t let the conversation drag on too long and get boring. Although he honestly feels like he couldn’t get bored talking to Dave. That’s probably just the new-crush feeling though.

KARKAT: YEAH, MAN, I HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME TOO.   
KARKAT: NOT THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT; YOU’VE GOT PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF IT.  
KARKAT: ANYWAY… HERE’S MY NUMBER IF YOU WANT TO TEXT ME LATER. SO WE CAN FIGURE OUT THE DETAILS FOR OUR DATE OR WHATEVER. 

He texts the number.

KARKAT: HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, DAVE. :)

Dave is halfway out of his bed when Karkat messages him back, just sitting on the edge of it. The wet between his thighs is starting to dry and feel pretty gross, he definitely needs that shower.

But Karkat’s message makes him stop for a second, another small, soft smile growing on his face. No matter how short he just was with Karkart, the guy is still being nice about it. He’s still definitely interested, and that makes Dave’s heart flutter in his chest. He feels kinda bad for trying to blow Karkat off now.

He programs the number in his phone and sends it a quick message before leaving his phone to actually go take his shower.

DAVE: <3

Karkat’s phone buzzes and he closes out of Grindr to read Dave’s message. His stomach flutters happily and he adds Dave’s contact to his phone, then sends a “<3” back, a smile growing on his face. He knows he’s being a dork, but nobody can see him. He’s allowed to be a romantic dweeb in the privacy of his own home, god dammit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art by [AllDaveKat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllDaveKat)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for reading! More to come soon <3
> 
> Karkat: [@AllDaveKat](https://twitter.com/alldavekat)  
> Dave: [@br0jangles](https://twitter.com/br0jangles)


End file.
